11 Ways To Skyrocket Your ConfidenceOctober 28, 2016
How To Annihilate Approach AnxietyNovember 1, 2016
By the worlds #1 dating coach for Introverted Men - Nick Neeson.
I did it! I gathered all my confidence and asked her out on a date! And she said yes! But SHIT… how can I make sure I don’t blow it now?
You never get a second chance at making a first impression. And this is never more true than during first dates.
And yet, what do most men do when they take a woman out on a first date?
They ruin it by coming from the wrong place: a place of neediness, desperation, and insecurity.
They attach too much importance to it, and this turns their first dates into disasters.
They nervously speak too much, or they get tongue-tied and freeze up.
Or worse, they ask questions that stink of neediness, like:
How am I doing so far? Do you like me? Do you think we’re a good match?
So what’s the answer to this? How do you go on a first date confident and in control? How do you make sure you’re doing and saying the right things from start to finish without being awkward?
Like most things in life, it comes down to a bit of preparation and having a plan.
But NOT your typical plan. NOT an overanalyzed plan. Instead, you need A FLEXIBLE PLAN.
If you’re an introverted man, you have a tendency to overanalyze how you will behave on your date.
You think for hours about how to impress her by being original and different.
You plan out the details too much and it will come across as awkward, weird, and desperate.
Luckily, Uncle Nick’s got you covered with some proven hacks that will help you date like a pro.
Use these 11 first date hacks as your guidelines to woo her and make her long for more.
As you will see, these hacks are especially useful for introverted men. That’s because they are perfectly suited to your nature. They don’t require you to be loud and obnoxious, or to use lies and manipulative PUA techniques.
Instead, they are effortless and chill, which is a perfect reflection of your style.
1. Choose the right venue.
The venue can make or break your date.
Choose a venue with soft lights and nice, calm music.
Also, make sure there are tables with comfortable chairs that you can sit in. Preferably, choose a place with a sofa instead of chairs. That way you can sit next to each other on the sofa.
Soft lights, soft music, and a sofa helps both of you get into a relaxed atmosphere.
This relaxed vibe is crucial for the date to be successful.
Preferably, the venue is one that you already know and feel comfortable in.
You being comfortable is a big key to making her feel comfortable.
If you don’t already know the place, make sure to check it out first. That way you’ll be sure the setting is right, and you’ll feel more comfortable when you take her there.
Also, be careful not to take her to something too expensive or too cheap.
Too cheap is bad because it makes you look like a cheap guy.
But too expensive is also bad, because it might position you as a provider instead of a lover.
The Venue Can Make Or Break Your First Date
This Venue Is Too Expensive For A First Date. It Positions You As A Provider Instead Of A Lover.
Also No Dinners On A First Date. For The Same Reason: It Positions You As A Provider.
This Venue Is Good. It's Not Too Cheap And Not Too Expensive.
2. Have a plan and lead her to two different locations.
Spending the same amount of time with someone in the same location or in multiple locations makes a big difference.
Studies have found that when you spend the same amount of time with someone in different locations, you feel like you’ve known that person longer.
So if you have a two- or three-hour date planned, make sure you go to multiple locations with her.
For example, you could meet her at 9 p.m. at a nice wine bar and have a glass of wine, and at 10 p.m. take her to a nice lounge bar.
This has the added benefit that you also will show your leadership. As you know, women love men with leadership.
Just say: ‘Let’s go, I know this other great place’.
Women Love A Man With A Plan.
3. Go for a walk first
Instead of meeting her at the venue, tell her to meet you at a place near the venue.
When you meet her, tell her you want to go for a walk first. ‘Hey, I feel like walking. Let’s go for a walk first.’
Going for a walk first will loosen both of you up. Just the act of walking will kill any stress you might have. You’ll also become comfortable together without any awkward moments.
Going for a walk first will give both of you the time to get used to each other without awkward silences.
Silences are not awkward when walking because you are not looking at each other, but at the environment. Also, you’ll have plenty of things to comment about in the environment.
And lastly, the walk itself is something that she likely did with ex-boyfriends. It evokes feelings of being a couple, or at the very least it counts as an extra venue.
So if you go for a walk plus take her to two venues, it will be like you went to three venues. This will make both of you feel like you’ve known each other much longer.
4. Imagine she’s already your girlfriend.
This will help you to relax. Plus, your body language and sub-communications will be the same as if you really were her boyfriend.
Why does this matter?
Well, think about it like this.
Where did she see these sub-communications before? Exactly! With ex-boyfriends.
She will put you in the same category. It will also trigger feelings in her that she only had with boyfriends.
I know this sounds like hocus-pocus, but it works like a charm. And yes, it’s THAT simple.
Act like her boyfriend and you’ll (usually) become her boyfriend.
Acting As If She’s Already Your Girlfriend Is Powerful Hack To Make Her Your Girlfriend.
5. Set the frame from the first second.
The first seconds of a date are crucial.
Most men think a date is difficult because it typically takes one or more hours.
In reality, the first seconds make or break your date.
If you get the first seconds right, your whole date will go great.
If you get the first seconds wrong, your date will be screwed.
So what do you do in the first seconds?
You make sure you set the frame that it’s a date and she’s into you.
Here’s what you do.
When you meet her, you take both of her hands, look her in the eyes, and say: “Wow… you look nice. Did you dress up like this especially for me? You shouldn’t have.” This is said with a cheeky, confident smirk.
At that moment, she’ll realize she DID make herself beautiful especially for you.
See, this not only sets the frame that it’s a date, but it also sets the frame that she’s into you.
Now, if you are uncomfortable holding her hands while you are saying that, then just say it without holding her hands.
But I would strongly advise you to hold both of her hands when you say it. It’s much more powerful.
Immediately Set The Frame That It’s A Date And She’s Chasing You.
6. Touch her immediately, and keep escalating your touch during the date.
Start touching her immediately when you meet her.
You can do this by kissing her on the cheek or by doing the frame-setting thing we discussed in point 5.
Touching her immediately will position you as the kind of guy who just naturally touches people.
If you wait too long to touch her, it might be awkward. She’ll know you wanted to but were too nervous to do it. But if you touch her immediately, there will be no problem at all. The tone will be set.
Next, keep escalating your touch. This will help you get the first kiss. You see, most men make the mistake of not touching the woman and then one or two hours into the date, after they’ve worked up their courage, they suddenly launch in for the kiss. This is really awkward.
A woman needs to feel comfortable being touched by you before she will kiss you. Therefore, it’s important that you learn how to touch her, and escalate your touch.
Social touch means touching her in areas that are socially acceptable, like giving her a kiss on the cheek, touching her lower back when you’re crossing the street, touching her arm when you’re making a point. You use social touch immediately when you meet her. This gets her used to you touching her.
Seductive touch means touching her in areas where only a lover would touch her. For example: touching her waist, touching her hair, holding her hand, etc. You use seductive touch once she feels comfortable with your social touch.
Sexual touch means touching her in erogenous zones. For example, touching her breasts. This is usually done later in the dating process when she’s used to your seductive touches.
Anyway, the key is to touch her early, touch her often, and increase your touching throughout your date.
If you would like to learn how to use escalating touch, then download The Touch Guide right here.
Touch Early Touch Often On The First Date
7. Sit next to her.
When you are in the venue, sit next to her.
Sitting next to each other has different advantages.
First of all, it makes silences comfortable. That’s because you’re not staring at each other.
When there is a silence, you can just use it as a “relaxing moment” to look around, just like you would do if you were already a couple.
Sitting Next To Each Other Turns Awkward Silences Into Attraction Amplifiers.
The fact that you’re behaving like you’re already a couple will evoke those feelings in her.
Can you see how sitting next to each other will turn silences into your best friend? Silences will become relationship boosters!
Also, it’s easier to use escalating touch when you’re sitting next to each other.
It’s easier for you to go in for the first kiss.
Imagine this: you’re sitting opposite her with a table between you. You want to kiss her. That means you’ll have to launch yourself over the table to kiss her. This can be very awkward. Sitting next to her solves this problem.
If you would like a simple way to find out if she’s ready to be kissed, then download The Kiss Test right here.
8. Have some conversation topics ready.
Having some conversation topics ready will relax your mind.
That way, you can focus on having a normal conversation.
You probably won’t need those topics. Just knowing you have them will make you so comfortable that you’ll be able to have a natural conversation.
But if you ever need them, you can just use them.
Great topics to talk about on first dates are:
Travel. Hobbies. Fun. What she was like when she was a little girl. Her most embarrassing moment in life. Her best moment in life. Passions. Where she grew up. Family.
If you want to learn how to have a conversation like a pro, then download our 7 Conversation Hacks To Never Run Out Of Things To Say.
Preparation Is Key.
9. Make sure to rotate the three key emotions.
Do you know the triad of intimacy?
The triad of intimacy is the three key emotions a woman must feel to become physically intimate with you.
They are attraction, connection, and arousal.
On your date, make sure to rotate between those three emotions.
By having conversation topics ready, you’ll be able to have a conversation without running out of things to say.
If You Can Trigger Different Emotions In Her, You’ll Make Her Long For You – Especially If you Trigger The Triad Of Intimacy.
Now, as an introvert, you’ll find it easy to connect with her on different topics. Introverts typically have an easy time connecting and creating bonds with people.
By adding escalating touch, as described in point 6, you’ll also add attraction and arousal to your conversation. Yep! You read that right: touching a woman in certain ways will create attraction and arousal.
In fact, if you use escalating touch from the beginning, you’ll never even come close to the friend zone again. EVER.
If you want to learn how to use escalating touch, then then download the touch guide right here.
If you would like to learn how to use escalating touch, then download The Touch Guide right here.
10. End the date with mystery.
At the end of the date, do this.
If you didn’t get the first kiss on the first date, give her a kiss on the cheek and say this:
“It was nice meeting you, Alison. Maybe we’ll do that again sometime.”
If You End The First Date In A Mysterious Way, She'll Grow More Attracted To You By Thinking Of You.
If you did get the first kiss, then give her a kiss on her lips and say the same thing.
What does this do?
It creates mystery.
I can guarantee you that she’ll be thinking about what that means.
What did he mean? Did he mean that we will see each other again? Or was he just being polite and brushing me off?
She’ll be thinking about you, trying to figure you out. This is a great present to give her.
You see, women love some mystery. They hate men that are won over too fast. They like a man that’s a bit mysterious and that they can’t figure out right away.
Also, this will make her mentally invest in you. And the more she invests in you, the more she’ll grow attracted to you.
11. DON’T text her immediately after the first date.
Most men send women texts after the first date.
It’s typically something like this:
“Hey beautiful, I had a nice time. Text me when you’re home.”
How many men do you think have sent a text like this after a date?
The answer: probably all of them.
First of all, it’s a lame text to send after a first date.
Second, it’s what every other guy sends her.
Here’s something better to do:
That’s right—don’t send her any text AT ALL after the date.
Instead, wait until the next day around 9 p.m.
What does this accomplish?
First of all, you immediately set yourself apart from all the other men she’s been on a date with.
Second, she’ll start wondering if you like her.
She’ll be thinking of you when she’s in her bed. And she’ll think of you first thing in the morning.
I can guarantee you that the first thing she’ll do in the morning is check to see if you sent her a message. And when she doesn’t see a message from you, she’ll be thinking about you all day.
That’s how you make a woman long for you.
Then, at 9 p.m. the next day, you send her a text.
She’ll be really happy to receive your text.
But make sure to send her a cool text. Nothing needy. Okay?
Here’s a cool text you could send her:
‘What are you not doing right now, that you wish you were?’
Do you see how this is different?
It’s not needy. It’s something different. And it has some slight sexual innuendo in it.
Try it and see for yourself how well this works.
This Is What Every Guy Sends Her After The First Date. It's Boring And Predictable.
First dates can be difficult for introverted men. You typically over-prepare and over-analyze your first dates. Or you attach too much importance to it, which makes you come across as awkward, desperate, or needy.
These 11 first date hacks solve this problem for you.
One of your main objectives on a first date is to get that first kiss.
To help you with that, I’ve included a killer bonus: the First Date To First Kiss Package.
The First Date To First Kiss Package consists of four resources:
1. Seven Hacks To Never Run Out Of Things To Say: How To Keep The Conversation Going For Hours - so that you’ll have plenty of time to escalate physically.
2. The Touch Guide: How To Go From Social To Sexual In No Time – even if you’ve never touched a woman before.
3. The Kiss Test: How To Tell If She’s Ready To Be Kissed – even if you suck at reading body language.
4. Plus The Top 100 Dating Hacks For Introverted Men.
What's your best tip for first dates? Share your feedback in the comments section below.